i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish i was in the wii world.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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