Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
