He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
