Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sext me about skeletons
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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