Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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