Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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