I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
