found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
