Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
