I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
