Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Blood and glitter go together right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
