I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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