We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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