at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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