I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
