That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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