Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
