So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
