Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
