My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
