i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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