i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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