i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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