Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
