I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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