After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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