you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
