i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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