i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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