I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
