just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
