I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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