I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my being single is dangerous.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
