are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Bring me that man meat
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize