even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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