Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
