So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
