I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
