yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
