easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
