just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this will be a night to untag.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
