I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
