So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
