She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
