"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well I just put wine in my tea
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
