Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
