Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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