its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
