"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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