remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
