Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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